“Wait, Is This a night out together?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “Wait, Is This a romantic date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and

L Word

specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This episode is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with buddies’ exes, friends starting up with these exes, while the tradition produced by all those things crisis.

Arrive when it comes down to gossip, remain for the psychological handling. And before that enjoy a game that assessments Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually wouldn’t normally.)

Thank-you for all your good feedback after our very own premiere! For those who haven’t however give consideration to giving us a rating or evaluate!


SHOW NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of my personal interests.

+ Listed Here Is
the article
We reference where We mention starting up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs video clip on her track
“something you should Say”
!

+ As somebody who has merely observed a few periods of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush with the few days C.C. Babcock was actually stunning in my opinion if it turned-out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally still tend to be.)



Drew:

I’d be very great along with it present. I’d never ever add another person without their particular authorization. Although concept of whenever somebody ended up being like, “concur that you will be connected to myself,” I would be like, “Yeah, it is the life I stayed. I do not mind.” Is that odd? Is the fact that problems?


Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, I would feel poor not. I’d wind up as, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”


Theme song performs


Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.


Drew:

And introducing

Hold Off, Is It A Night Out Together?


Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the major questions. Firstly, can it be a date? What exactly are times? Who happen to be dates? Do we like dates? They are the type questions that individuals address on this right here incredibly specialist and lovely podcast.


Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

I’m Christina Tucker. I’m in addition an author at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer online. Im getting better at describing my self as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is united states. That is who our company is.


Drew:

Yeah. So our primary subject recently is The Chart.


Christina:

I simply believed it required a sting. I don’t know. That thought really remarkable, but In my opinion it needed it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Many thanks, thank-you. No, no, no. The suitable amount of drama.


Christina:

Thank you.


Drew:

Yeah. So we’re talk to lesbians interconnectivity.


Christina:

I like that expression because it sounds like you ought to restart the lesbians. It sounds like internet connection isn’t really operating.


Drew:

Yes. It’s very sophisticated, really innovative, additionally ‘s been around since there’s been lesbians, i do believe.


Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students would say once they discovered one lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of these created inside sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s exactly what that movie concerns, correct? It’s about the information? That movie with Kate Winslet additionally the mud fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.


Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cave ladies. I would see that lesbian movie.


Christina:

Well, when I haven’t observed it, I’m going to courageously say that it was. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we have plenty lesbian period pieces, but we have never eliminated back that far. And I also believe it’s the perfect time we do.


Christina:

Why don’t we only hold having it further back in its history.


Drew:

Before we get to our main subject, you are nonetheless learning you. And that I believed that it will be enjoyable to tackle a casino game the place you dudes could truly analyze Christina. Thus our very own icebreaker because of this few days is only a little game that we name “Would U-Haul.”


Christina:

I am, once more, very pressured about any of it. This might you need to be just how i-come inside online game. This could be my personal game mindset, a little high-key, a little stressed. That is ok. We’re all discovering.


Drew:

I do believe that’s fantastic. I believe that’ll have you more susceptible, perhaps.


Christina:

Certainly my favorite emotions.


Drew:

Just a horror, merely an intense horror. So that the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is i’ll describe a scenario. Let’s call-it Christina enthusiast fiction. And that I’m probably pause after each small area to be like, “Okay, Christina, i understand that you have never stayed with someone, don’t want to accept someone. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”


Christina:

And I will often state yes or I’ll say, “I’m ready.”


Drew:

Unless you — well, we will see here. But I’m excited. In my opinion I possibly damaged the code.


Christina:

You have damaged the signal? I’m thrilled.


Drew:

Let’s observe how long this takes. And in case there is a constant would, In my opinion you win? I am not sure just how you’ll find champions here.


Christina:

I’m not sure that there exists champions within the video game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Really, I am not sure if you’ll accept that after that. Thus I’m getting going.


Christina:

Reasonable sufficient.


Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You’re at your buddy’s wedding. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you have soaked up, you probably did perhaps not head to this wedding ceremony thinking you’d fulfill any individual because, really, this is not a romcom. Here is the genuine and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking the designated chair and they are glancing at the phone whenever you understand a lady at the table wants at you. She introduces by herself since your buddy’s former baby-sitter. She is stayed a buddy associated with family members, but she does not actually know any person there. She appears to be mid-forties and has a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to produce a glass or two. When she gets up, you recognize she actually is six foot high, 6′ 3″ in pumps. And that means you know very well what? I am simply probably hold on there and start to become like, now, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I am captivated. I’m captivated because i would get set as of this marriage. But up to now I am not U-Hauling anywhere.


Drew:

Cool. Which is completely fair. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So that you spend whole marriage observing the other person. Absolutely only an immediate spark and instant chemistry. And certainly, you do hook-up in addition to sex is amazing.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. And so you both increase your stays for three times to bang and check out and eat at restaurants and bang. And you supply to separate the cost of the today combined area, but she laughs you off and is similar, “clearly maybe not, honey.” So that the after that three days are secret. You’re feeling the wall space tumbling all the way down. You’re falling quicker than you actually ever have actually. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Very just for clearness’s sake, I’m having a tough time picturing a global by which we took three surprise times from strive to go out with individuals i really do not know. That appears bonkers. In case i did so, great for me. But I’m simply not U-Hauling at this stage. It will likely be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is fine. You just found. I have it. I have it. Okay.


Christina:

Thank you a whole lot.


Drew:

So she returns to New York and you also return to Philadelphia.


Christina:

That’s where We reside.


Drew:

And you’re texting continuously. That is where you reside plus its where this lady life. And you are texting constantly therefore see each other multiple times 30 days. She’s extremely busy together work, but she’s rapid buying you a train admission so you’re able to arrive see this lady and stay at the woman beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Following six months go. Plus one evening if you are off to dinner, she asks you to move around in with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And move to Nyc? I don’t really like New York. No, I’m not relocating within 6 months tag. I’m not undertaking that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, completely, entirely. Wow. Okay. You keep dating long-distance. She knows that you want some time she actually is happy to expect you. Some more months pass. It’s now already been over annually. Your own landlord lets you know that they are attempting to sell your home to a developer who’s installing condos, so you are unable to renew it. You should get a hold of a new destination. Your now sweetheart tells you that no stress, but her provide still stands. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for a few explanations.


Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please inform us.


Christina:

Largely, in a global for which my landlord offered my house to improve it, my property owner is currently my closest friend, with the intention that appears like something went wrong within our friendship. And I also may want to simply leave Philadelphia anyhow. Of course I get to go in using my girl over right here, that looks good. Which is good. Totally great. But yeah, i do believe i would need an external energy like a mean landlord.


Drew:

That is so — okay. Used to do think you’d should need housing to get indeed there, thus I’m glad We understood that.


Christina:

Yeah. That is what has got to happen to myself very first.


Drew:

Well, i am happy to know what it takes. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, how much cash more hours?


Christina:

Truly, that could have gone on for some time. Philly and New York aren’t even that not both. I obtained space over right here. We are bouncing to and fro. We are having memories. I really could have let that roll for quite some time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst person i understand.


Drew:

I did not understand that Shoshana had your home. Well, there you are going.


Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.


Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.


Christina:

I’m pressured, are obvious.


Drew:

And I also’m happy that i am aware… possibly in case you are actually ever, therefore if anybody’s ever dating both you and desires you to relocate, maybe your own sweetheart told Shoshana to offer our home in the interests of your commitment.


Christina:

Truthfully the quickest means — someone would simply have to communicate with Shoshana and stay want, “simply kick their aside.” Then she’d be like, “Yeah, sure. Of course.” That would be the way it took place, even though she failed to sell our home. Someone would you should be like, “Can you merely stop the lady away therefore she will merely get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. One hundred percent she’d do this. That is what friendship is actually.


Drew:

I love that.


Christina:

Yeah, that’s actually gorgeous.


Drew:

Well, I feel like we discovered a great deal about yourself.


Christina:

Thanks A Lot. I feel like We discovered alot about myself personally, too. Risk of homelessness is really the matter that keeps myself moving in any circumstance, i assume. Wow.


Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.


Christina:

That has been actually exciting. I’m equally thrilled to move into the major segment because I think speaing frankly about lesbian connectivity with this visitor, with this unique guest, i do believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Exactly how will you be experiencing?


Drew:

I’m thus thrilled. This is a specialist. And also by that, What i’m saying is an

L Word

expert, and some a professional from inside the topic available.


Christina:

I think two things could be correct, my buddy. In my opinion two things can be real undoubtedly. Can we need present the guest or do we desire our guest to introduce by themselves?


Drew:

I might love the guest introducing by herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I am going to declare that our guest could be the one and only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, communicate.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its weird to-be the guest!


Christina:

Yeah, truly.


Riese:

I’d to not state such a thing. I did not also do it. I did so say circumstances. I got to sit down here quietly.


Christina:

And also you had been really brave. Plus confronts were valued.


Riese:

Thank you such.


Christina:

Though this is demonstrably an audio average, I want our listeners to know that Riese was generating some good effect confronts during “Would U-Haul.”


Riese:

Absolutely various ways to-be heard. You-know-what What i’m saying is? That is what i usually say. I am the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. That is certainly me. I have your pet dog called Carol. And that I have actually outdated individuals.


Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!


Riese:

Thank you. I’ve been associated with folks.


Christina:

Great. Adoring that. Which is great to bring to this, this here online dating podcast. That is great.


Riese:

Yeah. I believe that… can there be whatever else?


Drew:

No, I think that’s great, Riese.


Christina:

What you may want to share.


Riese:

I really like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.


Christina:

Compared to…


Riese:

You Understand an individual goes like…


Drew:

It’s like as soon as you strike. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, therefore I simply just evacuated all of them from my personal head.


Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Really, we immediately looked at you because of this topic.


Christina:

That is true.


Drew:

Because first and foremost, obviously, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian society have now been like, I don’t know, having sex with others who people they know have seen gender with since a long time before

The L Term

was ever a string. But I do feel like

The L Word

solidified a certain social notion of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. I really decided you might have a lot of insight into this subject.


Riese:

It’s correct. Two of the people, i do want to state, of

The L Term

had this actual data of them in addition to their buddies they certainly were attracting in the wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, had been one among them. She chatted to you about this, that they had constructed this. Because clearly, everyone else where author’s area had banged others inside the publisher — you realize, and extended web of that generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they watched that and they certainly were like, “let us place it into the program.” Plus some of them are on the information. Like, some of the people who … like, genuine everyone is from the information as bull crap.


Christina:

That is incredible. Which is the way you understand you’ve made it.


Riese:

Isn’t really that lovable?


Christina:

That will be thrilling in my situation.


Riese:

So if you haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

first, congrats. Second of all, it becomes the centerpiece of a single of our direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She has everything over her wall surface. And it also may be the title of a website they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. While the concept … and it is into the pilot, i do believe. Inside initial event, Alice begins making reference to how everybody’s connected, because everybody’s connected using this person. And I also can link you, as if you’re probably no more than two levels far from me personally. And this had been true. Like, despite having Dana, who had very limited knowledge because she was a closeted tennis user, they however could actually link the lady. And that’s actuality because it’s correct.


Christina:

That is culture. Yeah. That’s what tradition looks like.


Riese:

That’s culture. Which is queer society there. And today everyone else helps make unique maps.


Christina:

Yeah. To ensure was going to end up being my subsequent concern, ended up being have actually either of you made a chart? Because I don’t believe You will find, I am also types of now considering like, the thing that was this last year seated at my home for easily don’t make a chart? Like, that was the point of that, truly?


Riese:

I do believe I’ve done it in my diary, just as like … Because I really like, I am not sure, arranging info, I guess, as a thought physical exercise.


Christina:

Yeah, In my opinion that’s in addition precisely why i’m astonished that You will findn’t accomplished it. I prefer the thought of categorizing situations.


Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I’m not sure exactly why it is thus interesting, however it is. It really is fascinating become similar, wow, a few of these individuals, they truly are connected. It is wild.


Drew:

On the tv series, when ourchart.com is designed, they have an actual data that individuals can add stuff. And that I feel something that you joked about on

To L and Straight Back,

and from now on people state always is a lot like, when this existed in a genuine way, no-one would put their labels onto it, no body would feel comfortable putting their particular brands on it.


Riese:

Might.


Drew:

I’d. I would personally end up being extremely great with-it current. I would never include someone else without their own permission. However the notion of want, anytime someone ended up being like, “concur that you happen to be connected to me,” I would resemble, “Yeah, it is the life I’ve stayed. I don’t mind.” Is strange? Would be that problematic?


Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, i’d feel terrible not-being … I would be like, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, i am sorry, just what?” No, that could in fact deliver me personally into a light ethical panic about who i will be as you, what I’m performing. Was I interesting? Do people {like